What Co-Regulation Actually Means

It simply means:

A calm, regulated adult lending their nervous system to a dysregulated child.

Young children cannot regulate alone. They borrow regulation through proximity, tone, facial expression, and touch (Feldman, 2007).

When you:

• Lower your voice

• Slow your breathing

• Get down to their level

• Offer physical reassurance

You are helping their nervous system return to safety.

Dr. Allan Schore’s work on attachment and right-brain development highlights that early emotional regulation develops through relational experiences- not isolation (Schore, 2001).

Over time, repeated experiences of co-regulation literally wire the brain for future self-regulation.

It’s not about stopping the emotion.

It’s about guiding it safely.

Co-regulation today becomes self-regulation tomorrow.

References

This article is grounded in developmental neuroscience and attachment research. References available below.

• Ruth Feldman. (2007). Parent–infant synchrony and emotional development.

• Allan Schore. (2001). Effects of secure attachment on right brain development.

• National Scientific Council on the Developing Child. (2014). Excessive stress disrupts the architecture of the developing brain.